there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
false alarm. still invincible.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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