last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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