She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
