Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
