miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
