absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
