The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
