Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
