I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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