I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
