he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
