I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
