Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
