i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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