ugly people sure do ruin things
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
