Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
