This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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