My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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