I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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