is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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