He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
