When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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