I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
