Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
