Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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