i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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