hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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