So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
