How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
