i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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