She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I want to be your penis for a week.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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