So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
