tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
