Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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