Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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