i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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