Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
