He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
