I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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