Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
