I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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