you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Is it penis luge time yet?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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