if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
