sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
