I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
