road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
