Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
