Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
