Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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