My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
