yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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