Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
