He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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