this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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