I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
