kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
