this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
