I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
